I think the whole COVID saga has been some kind of blessing in my life. I don’t usually use words like “blessing” as it has some kind of religious connotations. I’m not religious by any stretch of the imagination however, I believe I am spiritual so I’ll go with the word….for now.
An alternative word may be…awakening or even, acceptance.
I’ve had some new people come into my life over the last year or so and it has been wonderful getting to know them. The conversations have been deep and beyond the superficiality of our current day to day work and busyness of our family and work lives.
Talking to them, everyone seems to be re-evaluating things in their life.
What’s important? Who’s important and what their future holds.
Many are making bold new changes by finally taking the reins and steering their life into new directions. All of them have mentioned that the virus and lockdown played a huge part in reflecting and re-evaluating their lives.
I’ve been one of those people too although I think my journey has been taking some years now. I can pinpoint in my minds eye the exact moments of those mental shifts. Where I was, who I was with and what I was doing. While they were there to shift my thinking the covid lockdown was simply the door that opened widely for me to accept that this is my new mentality now.
And you know what? It calmed me right down. No pretence. It is what it is – and that is okay.
It was the realisation that I’m my most “me” when I’m not running around like a headless chook, planning, doing, tasking, stressing. Instead, there are days where I do absolutely nothing but read, play with the cat, spending time with family, listen to music, play solitaire games with cards, chat to neigbours and I think, “this is where I need to be right now enjoying the moments”.
Everything else doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things as I have what I need for now. If I don’t, in some way, I either don’t really need it or, when I do, it’ll come in my life somehow at the right time.
Yesterday, someone asked me, “what are your plans for work?”
I shrugged my shoulders. I enjoy the work that I do and look forward to it every day. That’s enough for me now. There are ‘no’ plans. I show up, I do the work, I offer suggestions and try stuff out, I chat with clients, I have a laugh with my colleagues, I finish work at the end of day feeling good – what else is there?
So I really didn’t have an in-depth answer. It struck me as odd that I have no plans other than to just enjoy the moment. (No actual tangible plans about things other than retiring at the same time as my husband in about 5 years time. What this means is doing exactly what I’m doing right now but with the freedom to move, to travel without restriction or timelines. That’s it).
At times, I do have concerns that I may not be as goal orientated enough anymore.
I’m not chasing the dream of building a new business; I’m not chasing the dream of returning to university study; I’m not chasing the dream of chasing something – anything.
I keep thinking that I should revel in this moment of not knowing anything. Not pushing for something, anything to happen. To go with the flow. Everything is as it is for a reason. I’m exactly where I need to be right now.
If I need to be on some kind of path, it will reveal to me over time and my gut instinct will tell me this is what it’s about. Until then, I’m okay with uncertainty and enjoying each day as it presents itself.
What about you? Has the last year been one of revelation or frustration for you?