A story
8 days ago: It was the last working week for the year, and I was about to leave the house for a hectic day of deadlines. I’d planned to go in earlier than usual to get a head start on things I had to do. But…just as I was about to head out the door, unexpected circumstances conspired and I had to ditch my office plans to take my 4 year old to his swimming lesson. Usually, I’d relish an opportunity to see his progress at swimming. But I was annoyed that my plans for the morning had been wrecked. However, as the lesson unfolded, I watched him happily gliding through the water, listening intently and following instructions, chatting to the other kids, and putting everything into it, and my initial annoyance at not meeting work goals faded into insignificance. I was looking up at what mattered in life. As a parent, there’s nothing quite so awe-inspiring as watching your child conquer tasks that you never knew they could do.
Thoughts
I thought about the serendipitous chain of circumstances that had led me here > which led me to think about many of the best learning experiences I’d had this year many of which had emerged from serendipitous events (usually the sighting of a seemingly random but perfectly timely tweet). I thought about reflection in particular, how important these small moments of reflection are for consolidating learning…I remembered what Clark Quinn said at our Third Place meetup: 7 hours of work + 1 hour of reflection each day results in greater productivity gains compared with 8 + hours of work only (the actual quote was based on research, contained a statistic and was expressed far more eloquently…but you get the gist). I thought about this secret Santa blog post and wondered what I’d write.
Reflections
As I watched my child swimming his little heart out, thoughts also swirled in my head about learning, and independence and motivation – and how it was that a year ago, this same child had had to be coaxed into the water, gingerly and half-heartedly attempting some tasks, then cried and refused to get back in. I wondered at the change. I thought about the previous times I’d been here, observing the lessons and how different instructors worked with the kids. I’d noticed how some of the (seemingly) more experienced instructors just let kids go, pushing them out to swim on their own. You could see the kids struggling to make it – swimming independently was clearly on the edge of their ability. Just when you thought the kid wasn’t going to make it and that the instructor should really intervene and cut them some slack (they’re 3 & 4 year olds for goodness sake!), you’d see their little head bob up for a last gasp of air, a slight panic in the eyes, then a final burst of manic paddling…and suddenly, they’d reached the instructor’s arms.
I was often intrigued to see the kids weren’t in the least upset, or annoyed they’d been made to do something they could only just barely manage; rather they were jubilant, smiling and proud they’d made it. Instead of lavishing the kid with praise (as my natural reaction as a parent would likely have been), the instructor simply gave a few words of positive encouragement, a high five, then sent the kid to swim back to the wall again. Back they would go, this time ever more confidently – and usually, instead of that last desperate gasp and manic, panicky paddle, make a relatively smoother glide into the wall.
Watching – and comparing – some of the younger, seemingly less experienced instructors, I could see a difference: they tended to be more cautious, more hesitant to let kids go for it on their own, often keeping a reassuring hand on their back or walking alongside them as they swam to and from the wall. Maybe I imagined it, but there seemed (to me at least) to be a noticeable difference not just in swimming ability, but also in confidence, between the kids in these groups and those with instructors who were more brash.
I always think of the term “enforcing independence” (the week 2 theme of Dave Cormier’s Rhizomatic Learning MOOC) when I observe these swimming lessons. While the term itself was (as I understand it) deliberately oxymoronic, coined by Dave to spark exploratory conversations during the MOOC, to me it perfectly represents that familiar (and necessary?) tension that exists when people undergo breakthrough learning or change. Learning something completely new and challenging, or going through a major change is hard work. It’s confusing and difficult and there will always be moments through the experience when you want to give up or wish you never started because it just seems too hard. This is where it may help to have someone dump you in the deep end and get you to try fending for yourself. Someone who can “enforce independence” while still watching from the sidelines in case you drown. Sometimes, people simply need that first push to show themselves they can do it on their own, free of scaffolding. And then…(as Helen herselfquotes):
“Once you give people freedom, it’s very hard to take it back”. – Dave Cormier
All wrapped up
…and, as the swimming lesson concluded, I stopped wondering what I’d write for this secret Santa blog post. Like the year, some things I’d had in mind for this post haven’t turned out exactly as I’d expected or wanted, but, (just like all of my other Christmas presents) I’m wrapping up with moments to spare (04 hrs, 22mins, 22 seconds to be precise). As I look back and check that it’s wrapped up nice and tight, I notice that a comment on Helen’s post at the outset of the year referencing the same theme) also draws a parallel between this concept of ‘enforcing independence’, and observations about young children’s behaviour and reactions when pushed towards independence. That the comment is from mutual PLN friend Maureen Crawford is a bonus and brings a smile to my face. and, although I didn’t quite get in everything I intended to give, I feel like this is a nice, circular way to wrap up, and that moreover the gift contains bits and pieces that Helen would appreciate: personal narrative (I know she likes a good story – they are a characteristic feature of her blog posts), tangential stream-of-consciousness musings, reflection, and a glimmer of networks and connection.
Besides, it’s Christmas morning, the child has woken, and it’s time to get this show on the road.
Thank you Helen, for giving me plenty of ‘aha’ moments through the year with your posts – it’s been a pleasure writing and giving back to you. Looking forward to many more moments of inspiration in the year to come – Your Secret Santa Blogger 2014.
The Giving of Freedom http://t.co/ZdNTIbmPyM
A beautiful not-so-secret gifted post by @tanyalau on my blog for @blogsecretsanta called The Giving of Freedom http://t.co/ZdNTIbmPyM
The Giving of Freedom https://t.co/0TK1ZuNE7k
I love the signature: Your Secret Santa Blogger 2014.
Even from far away line 7 was a give away.
My takeway is that no challenge is as unreachable as it seems. We did already when we were 4y old. Just requires to get back to this mindset. Important while preparing 2015 resolutions.
Funny I have been following Helen and Tanya for years and I have never come across Maureen Crawford. Prompts a thought in my mind as to how is a PLN developed, nurtured and promoted. What is it about the impact certain people have on us? Who are these people? A PLN is a strong albeit loosely used term. There are those that impact on us more than others (your influencers) and there are those that you enjoy reading and interacting with. Wonder if we had to rank our PLN what impact would that have? Some food for thought! Ho Ho Ho
The Giving of Freedom http://t.co/TBeY6ujXeE via @ActivateLearn
Haha thanks Bruno : ) I was conscious when writing that Helen *might* guess it was me…although hadn’t realised I’d made myself quite that obvious! Guess you guys know me too well…
Goal for next year is to remain skillfully anonymous! I think it could be easier to do if you don’t actually know the person you are writing for. Like any gift, when you know the person you’re giving to, it’s nice to personalise it a bit.
Bruno yes- it is about indivdual mindset towards challenging tasks but also: how do you develop this mindset to begin with? It’s by being exposed to these ‘sink or swim’ situations that stretch you. As I was writing it, I was thinking about this from the perspective of parenting (I think as parents these days we tend to avoid putting our kids in these situations – for fear that they will ‘fail’…but this is not necessarily helpful for their development. I’m as guilty of this as anyone). But also similarly from a pedaogical perspective – there is often a tendancy to avoid designing learning experiences that are *too* challenging. In the corporate context, sometimes part of this is because it’s inconvenient (eg. thinking compliance based courses where the organisational goal often is just to get as many completions as possible). It’s also of course a lot harder to create challenging learning experiences – as the challenge for the designer or teacher becomes not just what types of experiences would be sufficiently challenging but how to provide the right support – which may need to be quite personalised to be effective.
Thanks for the comment Con. I had come across Maureen’s excellent posts as we were in MOOCs together (of the ‘c’ kind). It would be too hard to rank my PLN simply because they are many and varied and each has their own specialist expertise in something that I enjoy reading and learning from!
Thanks again Bruno. I’m thinking about my 2015 goals and I’ve come up with some personal ones but I realise I don’t have a “far reaching” one (that is, the mother of all goals – the “raison d’etre” of what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. This is my challenge for 2015…
Thanks again Tanya. I think the post was brilliant and the link with parenting was a good one. It’s not hard to spot your writing because it’s a reflective story. You should consider writing a book one day as your writing evokes many images but also links concepts, ideas and themes together beautifully. Thank you for your post – I consider my blog richer for it.
aww..thanks Helen, that is such a lovely thing to say, it means a lot!!! I do enjoy writing (once I get going…!) although the challenge for me is getting into a habit of doing it regularly – this is one of the reasons I admire your blogging (along with the always interesting stories you tell!!).
Thanks for getting me into the secret santa blogging thing too, I’ve really enjoyed it. I’ll be interested to see if I approach the exercise with a different mindset next time if I draw someone I don’t know. Thanks for your encouragement and support always – and look forward to seeing what you get up to in 2015!!
Hi Con – I’d actually replied to your comment a few days ago via my phone but was away and in and out of coverage and looks like it never made it! oh well…(I have a bad history of replying to blog comments on my phone – seem to lose a lot of them!)
As Helen has now mentioned, we met Maureen on Jeff Merrell’s exploring PLN mooc. Moocs or global twitter chats is where I tend to get introduced to the ‘international’ part of my PLN, whereas local PLN people for me, tend to be through work contacts, LinkedIn or local events like Third Place meets or conferences (makes sense I guess!).
It’s an interesting point you raise – I am quite fascinated by the process of how we develop our PLNs, who we consider as part of them, and the impact these people have on our thinking and practice – this is actually the basis of Masters research I’m planning to do this year (will likely post something about this soon if you’re interested….). There is actually an analysis technique (Social Network Analysis) which involves asking people to name and rank their social network – although like any self reporting technique (as Helen intimates) it has its limitations (e.g. people not accurately recalling events – recall bias; or giving weight to people who are perceived as leaders or with a good reputation – social desirability bias). PLNs also tend to be fluid and dynamic, not static so any research or analysis of a PLN will generally be a snapshot of what is happening at a particular point in time. So – can be a tricky area to research! But still very interesting – there hasn’t been a whole lot of research done in this area.
Also what you mention about loose/weak and strong/close connections and their relative impact is intriguing – there has been some research done in this area which links strength of connection to different stages and processes of innovation (although the research is a bit inconsistent and sometimes, conflicting). Anyway – yes, there is plenty of stuff that is interesting to consider about PLNs and their impact.
@Tanyalau, It would be sad to be anonymous. Hopefully times are more auspicious for authenticity and transparency, let’s take profit of it be ourselves. I kept in my mind the image of the 4y old cooking scramble eggs because I could relate it to my own life. It makes it easier for me to relate and pull a context while reading your text.
I was a supporter of the challenging approach for work and sharing knowledge but I backtracked. It’s perfectly fine for people willing to take on challenges but fireback for most others. It become sources of conflicts and resentment. Many recruits I worked with didn’t like to live challenges yet they were top performers and great achievers. IMHO the risk is to create a self selective environements favoriting resilience over overall abilities. Many years after, of course, everyone will praise you for being challenging but we have to deal with short perspectives as well.
I think that for me living without a “raison d’être” is a release of stress, a desirable letting go. Anyway most of us can’t accomplish it due to life contingencies.
So IMHO we have to do cabotage with atteignable goals for short term and dreams, expectations for long distance goals. I believe in the benefits of serendipity. For me being my boss brings me a lot of freedom, I use to travel and do experiments. For my work I wish it will bring a new range of possibilities for life long learners and teams like phones, computers, moocs or social media did. When I will succeed I will be work with an interesting community of users on a challengin product. So the mother of goals is more a point of convergence of goals but there is no keystone there.
OK that’s maybe the philosophical disgression of the day:)
Thanks for the thoughts Bruno – yes, really interesting to consider how people – especially high performers, approach challenging, stretching experiences. I think the tendency to avoid challenge comes from a fear of failure, which – particularly if they are high performers, would be unfamiliar and unprepared to deal with. Additionally, the institutionalisation of the attitude that ‘failure=bad’ in most organisations (and society as a whole…) that just reinforces this. What might be more helpful may be to adopt a mindset of experimentation and curiosity to explore new experiences.