I’ve decided that golf is going to be “my sport”. I love it so much. It gives me the endorphins at the end of a good round but it also has some crashing lows.

In effect, it’s now going to be another skill to add to my repertoire.

This means that like anything, practice does not make perfect but it’s near perfect for me. It helps me improve to the point that it’s not uncomfortable (to the point of giving up). Instead it inspires me to keep at it and accept all the highs and lows for the love of the sport.

I played like shit yesterday.

Oh it was so so bad. It was as if I’d never picked up a club before.

With only 15 points over the 18 holes, I came last on the field.

On one hole, I lost two balls into the rough. On another, my ball hit a tee marker which ricocheted at 90 degrees straight into the woodland. Then, I did it again but this time it hit a Ground Under Repair stake which made the ball ricochet into the dense scrub which resulted in another lost ball.

Four balls lost. 🙄

However, since playing golf now (nearly two years), I’m happy with how I’m playing albeit inconsistently at odd times. That is, on average I wipe about 3 or 4 holes in 18 but I still manage to get more than 30 points.

This strange inconsistency in that I play utterly terrible in an entire round (like yesterday) or with wipes and then high scores means I can play the game but something happens in my head and I go back to square one. When I play well, I play better than my handicap. When I don’t, it’s like I’ve gone back to square one.

And I think the reason is…lack of confidence.

It’s the most frustrating game I’ve ever played and yet the most rewarding and addictive. It’s got me thinking of how I could practice to improve my game, lower my handicap and just play CONSISTENTLY meaning the same stance, the same swing, the same tilt.

It needs to become a template. A no brainer. Instinctive.

Most of all, this game has shown me that I need to think differently. Golf is psychological.

So with that, I put my “Learning Hat” on (much like I did with my French, my knitting, morse code, and all the other things that were self taught) and came up with a training plan that hopefully gets me thinking better.

Play like shit, it means your headspace is all wrong and it means you’re not in the zone for learning. You beat yourself up because unlike other sports, it’s a game that you compete against yourself. I guess that’s why I like it. The only person putting pressure on you is…you.

So I’ve decided that every time I don’t score more than 20 points for 18 holes, it means I take a week off course and instead spend that week on the golf range through targeted practice. I’m denying myself the pain and the embarrassment of competing (and putting my mindset to be negative and scared) into something else: something more positive which I enjoy and that is….

Practice.

To some, practice is something that is tedious and unwanted.

To me, I don’t care. I see it as critical and necessary for any true learning and mastery to happen. If I want my handicap to go down, if I want improvement then I simply have to put the time in to practice.

No ifs, no buts, no hacks, no shortcuts.

I need to work towards something and for me now that goal is to at least break 25 points in a round for now.

Anything less than 20, I take that week off to practice.

(Suffice to say that this week was my practice week. On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I spent 2-3 hours a day practicing hitting balls on the range, pitching, chipping and putting – alone with my balls, clubs and thoughts).

Sometimes, I’ll decide to have a golf pro look at my stance again and tweak it during that practice week but I will not put my name down to compete. I also do a meditation to try and build confidence which is a big one for me.

Then, more practice. On the range or on the course, no matter.

(Over the last couple of years, my confidence has hit an all-time low – rock bottom in fact – to the point of not being able to recognise myself anymore. I’m using golf now to bring it back up again. I need a personal challenge to work on slowly and to get “back to feeling like myself” again. Golf – and being part of the Women’s Cohort Program has been instrumental for my mental health and well-being. Golf is what gets me out of bed otherwise I could stay in it when my mood hits).

I’ve done it so far and it’s the only way I’m explaining these 30+ scores on games where I have 3-4 wipes on 18 holes. Without those wipes, or by simply putting better, I could get over 40 points. so my aim is twofold only:

• Swing consistently (ie score on each hole – no wipes)
• Improve my putting to 2 putts per hole (not my usual 3 or 4)
• Aim for at least 25 points per round.

Let’s see how I go. I still have a few more practice days for this week and I’m back into the competition on Monday.