Yesterday I went for a walk with a good friend who has been in my life for many years. She put a proposal in front of me regarding a potential opportunity to return to my first ever employer. The industry is going through a massive build up here in Australia and there’s plenty of opportunities to get involved – and return to it – but it puts in front of me an ethical and philosophical dilemma of working in that industry.

It amused that I could be in a position where I started my career in this industry; then went through a myriad of different employment roles from casual, contract, full time and part time, even my own consultancy business – only to end up with my first employer at the end of my career life.

It’s interesting and thought provoking.

I now have to think of the implications of what this means for me and IF I’m the same person with the same mindset to be able to consider this suggestion to return to my “first job roots”.

However, while walking with her, I had other things on my mind when I noticed something I was doing…..

Some couple of days before I had been thinking about the decline of eye contact.

I was running errands for my parents and was in the supermarket twice over the days and noticed myself having a conversation with the retail assistant but I didn’t have much eye contact except for the initial hello. Only after I left the shop, did I stop to think “can I recall her face?” Only to be surprised that I did not.

Over the next couple of days I monitored myself as I went into stores and I deliberately forced myself to look up and at the person and it felt odd. Part of me just wanted to get on with the business of browsing or shopping so my default action was to put my head down and continue doing what I was doing.

But here’s the thing: I was still talking or engaging with them WITHOUT eye contact.

Again this happened on my walk with my friend. Afterwards I went through my own actions in my head and realised, when I was making a point, I didn’t turn my head to her to exclaim, instead I kept looking down at my feet as we walked on the path. I saw more of my feet in that hour long walk than I did of her!

This struck me. First of all, I noted how rude I was. How insular it may have come across. However there’s also a part of me that thinks she probably didn’t see any difference.

I don’t think many people see the difference because it seems that we are forever looking down at our phones when conversations happen. It’s rare to see people talking and facing each other without a screen/phone in their hand.

This got me thinking that maybe our technology is impacting slowly but surely the rate and duration of our eye contact with each other. Eye contact is critical for human communication and connection.

We are now giving this over to platforms and algorithms which demand more of it over time.

If I’m already feeling this in myself, how many others are already disconnected from people and family simply because over time, they’ve reduced eye contact which in turn impacted their capacity to communicate deeply and connect wholeheartedly to their loved ones?

Does this reduced eye contact have a direct relationship to what we are seeing in the world today? Communication and family breakdowns, social isolation, addiction, loneliness?

I’m going to now make a concerted effort to look people directly into their eyes and force my head UP.

They deserve my attention and focus and not what’s on my phone.

As for that job proposal, deep down I know what my answer will be.