So one of the things I’ve started doing (and which I hope lasts for a long time), is going on an “intermittent fast”.

If we can do it for food, we can do it with our screens.

One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that when I’m in a gathering of people, there are some people who simply don’t engage in the conversation. Instead, they are there, head down into their phones. I not only find it impolite but I wonder why they’re finding their phone or social media feeds more important than the presence of other people. I’m finding it more and more evident when I walk around and watch gatherings of people. To be honest, it saddens me to see groups with their heads down tapping or scrolling in their phones with silence hanging over the group. Such a difference to when I was younger when gatherings meant laughter, stories, jokes and banter. Sometimes boredom too.

Similarly in the evenings, I started to notice this with Andrew and myself on our respective phones, TV on, and lost into our own screen worlds. Me usually surfing YouTube looking at crochet tutorials and he scrolling endless Twitter and Facebook feeds. The moment one of us asks a question to each other, it would take a moment or two for us to “get back in the room”, to focus on the question that was asked. Other times annoyed that our focus was broken. Sometimes we’d answer something that was totally irrelevant to the question being asked. That’s when I thought “alarm bells”.

With that, something had to change. I can’t make another person change their behaviour, but I can change mine.

When the phone or any other screen becomes the focus of our attention to the detriment of communication, then something is wrong. I’d much rather ask a question, open a conversation, listen to music, write or scribble a note down on paper if I think of something, than have my head down not engaging with the other person.

I need to be present – even though the other person is not. I also think it’s the height of rudeness to be on your phone for the majority of the time you are with another person or group. It just tells me that you don’t want to be there or you’re finding the company boring and not to your liking so you opt out – only to enter into conversation when you want to insert your own opinion on something.

Therefore, you’re not taking the time to listen to other viewpoints and to ask questions to understand. In effect, our phones are stunting our ability to reason, to listen, to understand, to communicate.

I know it will feel a bit weird to not be the one who constantly reaches for the phone so instead I can reach for something else.

A book, a puzzle, a knitting or crochet project, a note book, pet the cat, do some floor exercises or stretches, there’s tons you can do that prevents you reaching for the phone and going down a time suck.

I started using Down Time on the iPhone. In effect it locks out all the apps, except the phone between times you stipulate. I’ve got it on from 5:30pm until 6am the next day.

So far, so good. I noticed I don’t need to use the phone opting for scribbling notes to myself on things I think about. The next day, if they’re still important, I’ll search for them during the hours I allow myself.

Of course, I don’t know if my husband has noticed the difference but no matter. Im feeling a lot happier just knowing myself that I’m not tethered to it.

Nothing is important online than the person sitting next to you.