One of the things I’m scratching my head over is, at times, people have been asking me for “prompts” at work.

Prompts to help them write posts to share what they’re working on.

Prompts to to help them respond to posts they’ve been mentioned in our enterprise social network.

Prompts to help them remind them to fill out a survey I sent which needed to be filled out at a certain time.

Prompts to remind them to set up a calendar meeting to meet about the work I just prompted them to do.

Prompts, prompts, prompts!

Prompts for things that should come natural as ways of working together because they’re basic human behaviours of openness, collaboration and cooperation.

I’m all for setting up personal reminders to encourage us to action something but if you’re asking SOMEONE ELSE (or even worse, asking them to create an automation bot) to remind YOU to do what YOU need to do as part of YOUR work, then surely this must be ringing alarm bells for you about how you manage your own workload?

Or is it just a delaying tactic?

Maybe I’m being sensitive and seeing something that others don’t when it comes to behaviours in the workplace that simply don’t sit right because there’s underlying and unspoken power relationships in them.

I see this behaviour as inconsiderate. It smacks more of a power play rather than it coming across as innocent “forgetfulness”.

The one who is assumed to be the busiest, asks to be prompted by the other (not so busy) to remind them to do the task they’ve been asked to do. It’s not a sincere, generous or authentic gesture – it’s a delaying tactic.

It’s putting something off rather than face up to that person and explain why you can or can’t do what they’re asking at that point in time. (It’s different if they actually explain they can’t get to it at this point in time and to set a time when we can both sit down together to work it out).

I’m putting it out there that at work nowadays, “busyness” is the new power play.

Those who are seen as too busy (not necessarily most effective or productive) have the power over those who are perceived as not by using this delay tactic.

If you ask someone else to remind you to do something (especially if it’s your role or your job at work), the real message you’re conveying is that you will not make time to listen or learn what it is they have to say.

In effect, you’re not seeing any value or belief in what they’re asking or demonstrating so you ask them to create a task – another task – in your day where you feel you have to do it, your hearts not in it. It creates resentment for you but also for the other person who feels like they’re ignored, or set aside for more pressing matters.

Before you ask for a prompt without explanation, take the time to listen more.

If you cannot do what is being asked, say it and say why.

If you can, organise a time to meet to learn more and ask your questions then decide if you want to do the task.

If you don’t want to do what they’re asking you to do, you owe them an explanation. Don’t delay them or string them along because it’s unfair, inconsiderate and besides, they’re not stupid, they can see what you’re doing. You’re just hurting your own relationships at work.

Being upfront with their requests, is the only the polite and civil thing to do in the workplace. It builds trust, acknowledges the time and effort others do in their work and it shows you to be open and authentic.