This last month, I’ve been observing some oddities in my life. Things that happen without explanation and alert me to something to take note.
I think I’ve been more attune to my surroundings. I feel something is “not quite right” (and hasn’t been when it comes to my work) and in that situation, I tend to worry. Maybe I worry needlessly? However what I’ve learned over the years is to trust my intuition. My intuition is the greatest sensor of the disparity and disconnect of words and actions around me.
I just had yet another coincidence happen at this moment. It’s to do with a story I heard about a boat in New Zealand being capsized by a breeching whale. I borrowed a book from the library, on a whim, just picked it off the shelf, and it had no mention of its plot, and today I finished reading it? What was it about? You guessed it, a boat capsized by a breeching whale.
It’s an odd story. So how come I got to hear it twice in as many days?
In this book, I also read…
“Sometimes you have to shed who you were, to live who you are”
– The Stranger in the Life Boat by Mitch Albom
There have been many other coincidences recently. Mainly words that I’m reading, I hear on the television at the same time. A question I may have in my mind is answered by a title of a book that I may just glance at.
I don’t know what it means – if anything. I’m putting it down to the fact that I’m attuning myself to life around me.
I have gotten rid of things, people – and thinking – that don’t serve me anymore. I prefer to work on the outer, at the edges, away from the noisy crowd so that I can feel free to explore life around me without their expectations, judgements, suggestions and advice.
On Tuesday, I put in my formal notice of resignation at work. I have had enough. I couldn’t pretend. I feel I’ve given a lot of myself over the years in my work and life on the socials, and in so doing, it’s left me empty and unfulfilled.
I need to fill up again and find me.
My antennas are sensitive and I’m not turning the blind eye to inconsistencies – I’m letting them come in through osmosis and then trust my gut to give me answers.
I haven’t been trusting my gut for a long time this year. It’s cost me a lot of sleepless nights and wasted time and effort in worry and stress.
Trusting your intuition is good for your mental health. I do wonder why we don’t notice it or don’t nurture it.
That time in my life I was at the most creative and inspired than I’ve ever been. I was in Brugge creating stories for a fun news channel on Snapchat called CNT News where I played a dimwit always angry Shazza Breaknews. I loved playing Shazza. I loved being part of this creative project. I listened to the Hoodoo Gurus everywhere on this trip to Belgium and the Netherlands, and last night, seeing the Hoodoo Gurus live in concert – their first in many years, this screensaver of a stranger’s computer made me recall of this creative time in my life. I came to terms on that couch last night, I haven’t been feeling particularly inspired of late and feel cheated in some way that I’ve given my all to other peoples projects and businesses – and yet still no closer to the mystery of what I’m meant to do with mine or want I want to be in my life.
On Thursday, having breakfast with a girlfriend, she described me…. she summed it up perfectly.
“You are a lamp that has a scarf over it. The scarf needs to be removed to let the light shine.
J.M
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