I’ve recently finished reading Viv Groskop’s book Au Revoir Tristess: Lessons in Happiness from French Literature and loved it. It’s got me back into my reading mojo!

Here’s my review of it and below it are direct quotes from the book that made an impact on me.

Marcel Proust

There is something very wise, almost religious about this idea that the past is a place that should be respected: it will visit you when it’s ready, not on demand when you want it to.

Reading Proust is like visiting a demented relative. Only you are the relative.

In some way Instagram is like a treasure trove (or a rubbish dump) of narcissistic Proustian moments, fixed in time and preserved forever as a picture without having to write a word.

We read books in the hope someone will tell us something about ourselves – and about human existence – that we knew all along but didn’t know.

Enjoy a book as if it’s a piece of music and boy really be able to tell anyone what happened in the pages you had read.

Victor Hugo

Sometimes you’ve just got to crack. It’s a fantastic justification for allowing yourself to do something selfish or ill advised. It’s definitely part of the recipe for happiness.

Les Miserables: your true worth is determined by what you do for others.

True contentment and peace of mind come not from following externall rules and regulations but from an intimate knowledge of your own internal moral compass and what it will and will not tolerate.

Choderlos de Lachlos

Do not be deceived by cynicism. Without vulnerability there is no real trust and no real intimacy. Better to have felt something real and be humiliated than never feel anything and die numb and regretful.

The worst things any human being can do: actively and intentionally destroy the happiness of others.

Flaubert

See my post on Flaubert for more quotes as this was my favourite chapter of the book. 🤣

“I feel waves of hatred against the stupidity of my era suffocating me” (my thoughts: yes, I’ve often said the same thing).

Edmond Rostand

Weave something beautiful out of self loathing, a way of turning the most unattractive thing about yourself into the most attractive, a way of turning your enemy’s insults upon yourself but improving them do that you seem the most intelligent one.

The main reason we immerse ourselves in hooks and emerge from that experience refreshed and changed – the opposite of the social media experience which leaves us numb and bored.

Stedhal

Novels can operate as a window into your own soul, one that only you know about. And they can offer extraordinary keys as to how you’ve changed as a person over the course of your life and the lessons that you – only you – have learned.

Albert Camus

The older I get the more appreciative I feel about the fact studied French from an early age. I think the earlier you encounter a language and the longer it has to sink in, the more it stays with you as the years pass, even with very little upkeep.

It’s the human condition to feel like an outsider, and the more comfortable we are with our outsider status, the more we can let go of it and connect with other people.

Ending Thoughts

The writers of that country provide us fuel for that crush.

The illusion of Frenchness is a thing inside me.

Books are a window to Frenchness but they’re also a way of understand French people better.

These writers have shown me that the people I put on a pedestal have feet of clay: they are foolish and short term ist and human, just as we all are. Which is what makes them better role models.

The French hate their jobs: they are too busy enjoying their real lives too much. (My thoughts: Which explains why I never progressed up the career ladder. What was happening in my real life was far better than what my job offered me except those times in the Navy which were insanely interesting and exciting).

Philosophy is taught to children in France to “develop a capacity for personal reflection”.

Ultimately the lesson here is not so much happiness as about authenticity. Because unless you feel that you’re being authentic, honest, real version of yourself, there’s no way you can be happy.