I have no idea why but my dreams have been vivid recently. I’ve also been sleeping deeper than I ever have before.

I have no idea why.

I know I’m not physically tired, I’m in good health generally and count myself lucky I haven’t caught COVID…yet.

However I do find myself finding it harder to keep an exercise routine with my daily 1 hour walks and my running a distant memory of the past. Part of me thinks it’s because of our winter, which this year, has been colder and wetter than ever before. Mornings are dark and there’s constant rain. Its easier to stay at home in the warmth.

However my dreams are something else. They’re going crazy. Lurid, vivid, sometimes amazing as if I’m in or watching a movie, other times, scary where I’m yelling out.

Whenever this happens, I know it stems from something else bothering me. It’s happened many times in my past. Although I wouldn’t put it down to anything “woo woo”, I do believe that I have a strong intuition for things and in most cases, I follow my gut. It’s never failed me.

My belief is that I can pick up the signs of misalignment, disconnection, illogical, nonsensical and it’s these instances where my brain is trying to make a connection and comes up with “gaps”. These gaps are my intuition which although I don’t really notice in real life, they obviously get stored somewhere away in my subconscious which then expresses itself in other ways such as erratic emotions, riskier behaviour to get a rise/response/answer or my dreams.

Yesterday I stayed over at a friends place and during the night, once again, I yelled out again. I wouldn’t call them “night terrors” because invariably I wake up from them more irritated at myself.

To me, they’re expressions of these inconsistencies in picking up and can’t put a finger on them to try and explain them. All I know is that there’s something or people around me sharing inconsistent messages or being secretive or obtuse which I’m picking up on.

In these situations, sometimes I choose to ignore these, other times I follow them. Most of the time, my gut was right. I’m in a situation right now, where there’s no clarity so I’m biding time hoping that something comes up as a sign for me to take action.

It’s as if I’m waiting for more of these “misaligned actions” to occur before I make my own move. In the meantime, these vivid dreams will continue to occur.

These are also big signs for me to realise my own misalignment. If something goes against my grain, values, ethics or principles then these play out strongly. It doesn’t sit well with me to say one thing, do another. It’s like I’m battling myself between my head and heart.

It reminds me of being back in school doing equations in mathematics. Some equations had all the variables to determine the answer. Eg 5x = 20. You have two numbers to determine what is missing.

However 5x + (a + b + c)/ d = 127 has too many to consider. The answer could be anything. (I just made that equation up).

I feel as if my dreams are like meaningless quadratic equations and the signs that occur in my life are the variables that drop in one by one before I could solve the equation and determine an action to take.