If there was a spray I could douse myself in, it would be “Idealist, Be Gone!”

I’m at an age where I’m doing a lot of soul searching and made the conclusion that my idealism has failed me.

You can’t get to this age and escape it unfortunately as you deal with big problems in your life such as the daunting prospect of an ageing body, caring for ageing parents, older extended family members passing away, looking and planning ahead to your own later years, all the while considering the state of the world around you locally and globally.

In our life, the moments when these become blatantly evident that something has changed is and you need to face up to them. For example, you see your long lost cousin, the one you hung around with in your childhood and notice how many years have passed since you last spoke to them; when your parent forgets that more often or cannot do simple tasks they used to.

Outside of general life, it’s our work that comes under scrutiny. I’ve come to the conclusion, that my idealism of “what could be” is misaligned to the prevailing operating model of business today. I’ve been banging on about working better through building communities, collaboration and learning to inspire some kind of purpose and spirit in the workplace but for many years this has been given lip service by managent.

Maybe I should have seen this years ago and moved from the corporate business world to working in a more caring or creative sector. 🤔

Have I wasted my time when I could have been in an environment where social responsibility and people are at the core of how they work? The thing is though, underneath all this – it’s still a business. It’s about making money to someone.

This is what I’m grappling with. You can’t fully be one or the other. My idealist self is saying “why can’t you?” but deep down, I know the answer.

This week I had a great conversation with someone who works for a B-Corporation where we spoke about wanting to be inspired in our work around a purpose and feeling as if we made a difference to the world – not to line someone’s pockets or their business bottom line. It was the realisation for me that my idealism does not fit with the manner in which I am – and many people are – in work today.

Last night my husband and I had a great discussion. I love talking with him. (I guess after 16 years of marriage, you’d want this). He’s a down the line, no frills, realist and a pragmatist. He sees things as they are and for what they are.

If there was a line, I’d be on one side and he’d be in the other.

He asked me last night, “Why should you care?”

I then waxed lyrical about living in a world where we could do better, work together for the greater good, wanting to do good work, wanting to do work that makes a difference. Blah, blah, blah.

He repeated. “Why should you care when others don’t?”

In the grand scheme of things, I was getting myself wrapped up over possibilities without taking account that others all see the world differently. I’m an idealist so I probably irk the pragmatists and realists who at best think I’m naive or at worst, ignore possibilities because unlike me, they realise there’s only so much they can control.

So the onus is on me now to get my head out of the clouds and be a realist. Play the game as they are (maybe just joke and be lighthearted about things because really, this is what people want rather than dealing with difficult questions about change, self realisation, growth) and not get too uptight about possibilities.

Question is: do I want to do this?

Growth and change cannot come about without people who are passionate about what they believe in and fervently stick to their ideals. The change agents are always idealists. They make us “believe in the horizons of the possible. Idealists are the ones who imagine and work for a world that is more humane and enlightened than what the world’s hardnosed political pragmatics believe it could ever be. Without idealists, there can be no progress.

https://www.facinghistory.org/resource-library/american-idealist/what-idealist