Here are some things I’ve been noticing now that I’ve permanently deleted social media from my life.

It’s nearing 30 days now which means at the 30 day mark without re-entering my accounts, they are wiped of everything I’ve ever written and shared is permanently deleted. Years of work, photos, videos, followers and followings, ramblings.

Gone.

I’m going to list what changes I have experienced as they happen to me.

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Quality of Sleep

I usually don’t sleep well waking up at early hours and then unable to fall back to sleep again.

It’s been worse these last couple of years with a lot of anxiety probably pent up from the situation with the lockdowns, pandemic, perimenopause and general uncertainty with life and work.

I’m a bit of a worrier usually so naturally, this impacts my sleep. However, I can’t believe the quality of sleep I’ve been getting now!

I have a full night’s sleep and get up rested every day. I have vivid dreams but also many nights where I feel I don’t dream at all. This has been one of the best outcomes for getting rid of social media.

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No Idea What My Friends & Networks Are Doing or Sharing

The biggest loss is not knowing what my friends are doing or sharing. I anticipate I’m a bit of an inconvenience to them given that they’re not going to share something separately to me to what they posted for the world. ? One of my aunts even became angry with me too.

Getting off social media permanently means that you are also isolating yourself from entire network of friends and family.

At times, it feels lonely because you feel “forgotten”. It also impacts others who rely on you for sharing stories on social media to them. For example, I can’t share the stories and photos of what my extended family in Greece are doing to my parents (who aren’t on social media).

According to the Global Social Media Statistics now more than 58% of the world is on it spending on average 2 hours and 27 minutes on it every day. That’s 4.62 billion on it with 424 million joining it every month. Crazy numbers.

So it means if you’re not part of that 4.62 billion when all your friends and family are, the words of John Donne “No man is an island” doesn’t ring true anymore.

You are indeed, an island – and you’re always trying to make some signals so that people can at least know that you’re still alive and hope that someone, anyone contacts you.

Yesterday, I found out that my sister-in-law has had a new job for some weeks and that our mutual friend is on his way to Germany for a holiday. I found these out quite late and only after my husband alerted me to their Facebook posts. I have not read these posts nor saw what they wrote. So getting off social media means you may need to get information later than everyone else through another third party (who is on social media).

Do I care about this?

Not really.

When I see them in person, I’m sure they’ll be able to tell me about their adventures and show me some photos on their phone camera roll. I want them to tell me all about it through their stories.

As for people in my network, it’s the ones who regularly blog do I learn more of their comings and goings. Unfortunately many people have stopped blogging for tweeting so expect your network to drastically shrink to pretty much a handful of people.

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I’m Connecting with People More One-to-One

Some people have directly contacted me to ask for my email or phone number which of course, I give out because I’d like to keep in contact with them too.

I’m on WhatsApp (begrudgingly because my Womens Golf Network and French Conversation Groups are on it) and also Telegram. (I want to get rid of WhatsApp but it will mean further isolating myself from the very groups I need more contact with because of my language learning and golf clinics and games. For now, I must keep it but it doesn’t mean I like it).

I’ve been using direct messaging on these platforms more often. I’ve also had face-to-face catch ups and coffees and long walks with people as well as Zoom calls. So my relationships with people are deeper in some way. (However on the whole, expect the majority of people in your network to fall away. If you’re not prepared for this, then don’t get off social media).

My plan is to organise some meetups with people at parks for walks and other experiences and see who rocks up when the weather gets warmer. Also another plan is to contact my network directly and let them know my mobile number and how to contact me. I will need to also create a new Hello page with my contact details just like Ton Ziljstra’s post on Hello pages.

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Time Goes By Slower

Believe it or not, this is what I’ve noticed when you don’t pick up the phone to trawl through multiple content feeds.

I’ve also just sat in my chair looking out into space just thinking. Me and my own thoughts. No phone next to me. No phone in my hands. I’m wrapped in my own thoughts a lot.

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I Forget My Phone At Home

When I go out, there have been times I’ve simply forgotten my phone sitting on the charger.

It’s pointless carrying it around now.

For what reason?

I take a photo or a video but I can’t share it anywhere. Taking these are purely for my own purposes of enjoyment and recalling the day. I use the photos for this blog (but it takes an extra effort of using another app to reduce the picture size). Everything is just slower, takes longer. Nothing is as instantaneous as it was to take a pic, share it with a pithy comment for people to like or respond to. Now that’s a pointless activity. Instead, I’ve been sending these pics to people like my husband or my family through text messages.

I noticed that when I forget the phone at home, I don’t panic anymore. I go about my day without the stress and anxiety of not having it on me or in my bag.

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I’m Using My Old Fashioned Camera

I’m learning how to use my Canon GX Mark III camera a lot more and get into the habit of carrying that around instead. It makes me think about the settings and how to take the photo. I don’t fee as awkward taking photos on it as I do with the phone where I feel that people might be a bit more against me pointing the phone at something they might take offence to. With an actual camera in hand, people are more likely to think that you’re simply taking a photo for the art of it – not for live streaming, sharing it out to social media.

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So much Time on My Hands

OMG. I can’t believe this one but I feel that I’ve done MORE these last few weeks without it than I have in a while. I’ve cleaned out cupboards in my kitchen, washed woollens, washed all my linens in the cupboard that hadn’t seen the light of day. I’ve cleaned the house top to bottom; vaccumed, dusted, mopped; I’ve written a lot more in this blog; I’ve baked desserts and cooked foods I would never have made. I have also watched videos where I have learned something like crochet skills and my knitting has just been going great guns.

I’ve been listening to lots more music too which I play in the house on my old CD player and going through our CD collection (which we have hundreds of).

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Another thing I’ve noticed is that I don’t interrupt these activities to check on social media feeds meaning that’s where my time used to disappear.

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You’re Writing and Capturing Just For Yourself

I’ve been writing a lot in this blog over the years and come to the realisation that I’ve been writing more for myself than for an audience.

I have no expectation that people read this blog, nor care what I do or get up to. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean that what I share has to be engaged with or interacted with. In fact, even on my YouTube channel, I write the following.

You don’t need to subscribe to this channel, nor do I ask you to follow or share any of my reviews to your networks.

So it’s pretty much the same. I doubt people are reading or sharing any of my posts. I doubt people have much time to read a lot of the crap I write. In some way, I feel like I’m hiding in plain sight.

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It’s an Introverts Dream

I’m inside myself for most of the day. Wrapped up in my own thoughts with only my plans and no external interruptions.

No one telling you what to do, when to do it, what product or service to buy, not giving you advice, telling you that you’re wrong or even right. You are alone. You are in charge of everything. The outcomes are yours alone.

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You Are The One Who Has to Work Harder to Remain Connected

Not to belittle anyone but the honest truth is that the person who is not on social media, will have to work harder to remain connected with their network. They’ll be the ones to send DMs, emails etc. It’s not always the case, but on the whole, expect this. Responses are slower too because people are unlikely to return your texts, phone calls or voice mails or even emails. (It’s easier to respond publicly in a tweet or in a DM through the social media platform).

The ones on social media are unlikely to do this UNLESS you are famous or have celebrity cult status and where continued connection with you means it furthers their career. We can’t all be Seth Godin or Simon Sinek (the irony not lost on me that those who work in social media aren’t on it).

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Will I Continue With This?

For now, yes. I can’t see the day where I get back on it. To be honest, I’d like to get to the point where I just don’t mention it anymore.

I’ve been reflecting a lot for some time. Going inside myself and asking myself some deep questions. What I held dear years ago is now completely the opposite. I don’t know if it’s a feeling of general disenchantment with work and life or a general feeling of loss or inability to make positive change. Maybe I’ve conceded defeat?

Was my disconnection also a way to rebalance, refocus and recalibrate without getting influenced by others? A way of creating space from the noise so I can find my “what’s next” and in the hope of the answer being heard by me.

Let’s see how I go.