Many years ago when I was in the corporate world, my nickname used to be the “Black Cloud”.

It wasn’t because I was a sorry sod (I was upbeat and enthusiastic), it was because every time I joined a company, within a year of being there, my department or team was restructured and ultimately, made redundant.

Of course, I didn’t mind at the time (not after the second redundancy) because I realised that when you’re in a support service in an organisation – like Learning and Development – you may as well have a target painted on the walls because you are game for restructuring, resizing, outsourcing, downsizing and redundancy.

Back in 1998, I remember standing over a fax machine in the corridor of the Directing Staff Offices at the Australian Defence Force Academy. (Loitering in the corridor as I used to do waiting for the photocopier to finish photocopying the hundreds of pages – ah remember those days?)

It was spitting out slowly a fax of a Defence Signal communicating that Instructor Officers (the Education Corps) could now submit their interest for a Voluntary Redundancy (VR).

As it was coming out of the fax machine, I pulled it, looked at it and walked over to my boss’s office leaving the photocopier to continue printing. He was a laid back and casual boss, as were most submariners which he was one, and he waved me into his office without the customary brace to attention at the door.

“Sir, I’m submitting for a VR!” I told him and then put the form on his desk.

He looked at it, read it, and then handed it to me and shrugged.

“If you’re sure that it’s what you want to do, then let me know how I can help. Thanks for letting me know and keep me posted.”

So over the next week, I submitted my written letter to DNOP (Directorate of Naval Officers Postings) and spoke with my Career Manager who was responsible who asked me to reconsider.

The hope was that the VRs would be taken up by those more senior in the service and who were ready to retire instead, they had seen a rush of the younger mid-career officers take up the voluntary redundancies which was not the intended outcome.

There was a bit of negotiation talk on the phone to have me reconsider.

“We can post you to Watson! (a lovely sea side base in Watson’s Bay Sydney)

“How about a posting to Cerberus again so you can be close to home?

“How about we put your name down for JOTO?” (Junior Officers Training Officer onboard the sea training ship).

Nope. I had made up my mind.

I wanted to experience a new change, a new career.

A corporate life (back then) seemed far more exciting.

So I took that redundancy (and transferred to the Navy Reserves) and admittedly, to this day, I don’t regret the decision.

However, little did I realise that this really wasn’t a redundancy – because I HAD A CHOICE. I was the one who decided to leave.

Redundant…Again

I took the second redundancy, some years later in the corporate world a lot harder because it wasn’t my choice.

I entered the corporate world and into a wonderful role with the Centre for Leadership at Telstra, working directly with the senior leaders and CEO of the organisation on all aspects of leadership training. Working with a great team of people and managers, despite a rocky start because I was in a team of strategic, conceptual people who had gaps in project management and co-ordination, I felt I was the odd one out. Having just come out of the military, where I could organise people and resources, I wondered why people were just sitting around “talking” and absolutely no one taking charge to direct their ideas into tangible programs.

So I walked into my manager’s office one day and submitted my resignation.

“What’s this?” the director asked as she held my resignation letter in her hand.

“It’s my resignation. For some time, I’ve been feeling at odds with everyone here. You all seem to have ideas, concepts, moving from one idea to the next and I don’t work like that. I can’t pontificate all the time and why I’m so quiet in meetings. I’m waiting for someone to make a decision so we can actually do something!”

I remember she laughed and she calmly told me that it was the reason why she had hired me.

I was the one who could take these ideas and basically mould them to create something out of them that the Centre could then promote and undertake. They needed my skills in the planning, design, the co-ordination and to get everyone in line because they were unable to do it themselves because they preferred to strategise.

After she explained this, it made perfect sense and I was a lot more comfortable working in this team – and to not get too wrapped up as they pontificated, strategized and drew colourful circles on white boards. I was able to then jump in and give them options of how they could make it a reality.

However, with a change in leadership at Telstra, meant that the Centre’s purpose also changed and we were all made redundant. That second redundancy hit me hard because I believed in the purpose of what we were doing and wondered why they were getting rid of it just because it was a concept by the previous CEO. The new CEO was stamping his mark by getting rid of anything the previous CEO created.

I remembered these redundancies recently (I’ve had 4 major ones in my life along with MANY restructures and job changes along with being unemployed and on the dole for a component of my corporate working life) and recalled I had been put through a Career Assessment over 18 years ago now.

I found that career assessment profile in the filing cabinet this week and pondered over it.

You can see it below here.

https://twitter.com/ActivateLearn/status/1494412522828763136

It outlined the results of the assessment: My strengths, work values, ideal manager, personal characteristics, interests, development opportunities, where I don’t work well and my ideal work environment.

It struck me how it still stands for today’s needs – that is, nothing much has changed.

I have decided to write down all of them here – along with the 2022 update to see if there’s been any changes.

The results are interesting.

My Strengths

• Written and verbal presentation skills
• Flexibility
• Teamwork
• Listening
• Mentoring
• Planning
• Taking initiative
• Friendly
• Decisive & energetic
• Logical
• Assertive

2022 Update:

The logical, decisive and assertiveness were obviously remnants of my Navy career. In the Navy, I had to play a “role”. At times it was at odds with my normal self. I’m happy to say that many years later, they’ve been replaced with uncertainty, anxiety and devil-may-care attitude.

Potential Stressors

• Analysis
• Management
• Research
• Systematising

2022 Update:

I must admit I love to research now – in the sense of dabbling and experimenting. Not research where you have to meticulously cite and pontificate over every item you read. Everything else as is. Nothing busts my gut as paralysis by analysis; managing people/teams; and procedures.

Personal Characteristics

• Easy going
• Trustworthy
• Independent
• Organised
• Conscientious
• Efficient
• Flexible
• Adaptable
• Co-operative
• Cheerful

2022 Update:

The cheerfulness can go and in its place replaced with a dour look at times; if I get pissed off I go quiet. Conscientious is gone too – after all, I’m a 52 year old woman who can do what she likes, when she likes, how she likes.

Work Values

• Friendships
• Self-realisation
• Excitement
• Change and Variety
• Achievement

2022 Update:

All that. Absolutely nothing has changed here.

Ideal Manager

• Gives me free reign to plan, organise what I have to do
• Backs me up when going gets tough
• No micromanagement
• Someone who realise their practicalities of their strategic concepts and ideals

2022 Update:

Nothing changed here. I’ve been lucky to have worked with three entrepreneurial bosses in my life. My work with them has been superb and educational for me too. They can strategise, ideate and conceptulise. I can get on with it and design, plan, develop their concepts into tangible products.

Work Environment

• Discussion and debate
• Novelty and change
• Independent action

2022 Update:

Nothing has changed here regarding my preferred work environment although in my later years, I’m just happy to do what is required of me. In my past, the moment I got bored, I found other work. Now, I really don’t care. I’m getting these things mainly outside of work. I’m at a point in my life where I want these things in my LIFE. Work is taking a back seat.

Less Effective Style

• Distrust others
• Fail to follow the plan
• Unfocused
• Unable to concentrate
• Overly sensitive to critcism

2022 Update:

Happy to say that thanks to age and understanding myself, I know exactly when things aren’t right and can make amends myself. I’m happy to say that all of the above were things I’d do when I was younger but now, I realise that when I disengage, don’t contribute, go quiet then it’s me mulling over the situation and deciding a course of action (for me to undertake). I would say, now, these times are times that allow me to focus, to concentrate and to follow ‘a plan’ (my plan). It has nothing to do with distrust of others, more of an understanding that there are other factors at play that I’m not privy to. Glad to say that I’m totally not sensitive to criticism anymore – in fact, I don’t care much about it as I’m confident about my skills. I think it’s also an age thing.

Interests

• Persuade, counsel and teach (meh)
• Directing people (NO THANKS!)
• Motivating (?)
• Literary – likes to write (YEAH!!)
• Social service – values, helping others (yeah….)
• Products and services that genuinely help people (YES!)
• Keep tracks of things because likes details (WHAT THE HELL?)
• Working with people (love working with people in a small team)

2022 Update:

I can happily say that the directing people and details are NOT me AT ALL. These are remnants of my Navy military training that over time, has left my body and my mind thankfully. I’m interested to see that literary – the writing – comes up strongly. The teaching and the motivating bit – is something that seems to follow me around and I accept it begrudgingly.

People tell me that they learn stuff from me and I’m like, “huh?”

Push comes to shove, teaching, directing, telling, counselling people is not my be all and end all. That is, the ultimate result for me is not to teach, to coach, to facilitate – I’ll do it if I have to but it’s not ‘my thing’. I far prefer to be the one experimenting, trying, testing, researching, writing…..

Life Style

• Pursue literary interests eg writing
• Travel
• Lots of people contact
• Helpful in community
• Fun working environment
• Doing work that “does not seem like work”
• Happy, healthy, helpful life
• Social networks

2022 Update:

Whoa for something that was done in the late 90s, absolutely NOTHING has changed here. Writing comes up. Maybe I’ve WASTED my life in corporate doing crap L&D projects when I should have just been writing books. Bloody hell!!!

Work Options I Was Considering Back in the Early 2000s

• Teacher
• Community Service Organisation or Hospitality
• Train the trainer facilitator
• Marketing?
• Columnist
• Journalist
• Writer Freelance

2022 Update:

Funny how things turn out. I’ve done more marketing writing over the years. I could never see myself in Hospitality now – no thank YOU! Nor anything to do with facilitation because that’s too instructional and in all honesty, I want to the be the one EXPERIENCING it not TEACHING it.

You know it comes down to writing a lot.

I have to think about this.

Why had I not continued with writing as a career choice for myself (instead I did HEAPS of it in my work as a L&D consultant).

Why did I go through an entire life of convoluted experiences – dabbling with tech, video etc – and didn’t focus on doing the thing that I enjoyed most and was staring me in my face?

Lots to unpack here.