Part of me was looking forward to writing my first post for 2019 but another part of me was dreading it.

Over the last couple of weeks having some time off doing nothing much except for reading, napping and enjoying time with family, I had set aside some ideas for blog posts mentally.

At the time, they were mere fleeting ideas “oh, I should blog about that!” but over time, the urgency and the relevance faded to now where I can’t remember them at all.

The end of the year and the beginning of the new ones bring all the posts and social media messages of peoples goals and resolutions. This year, I decided to have none of that.

Anyone who knows me knows that on the outset, whatever I do looks spontaneous and at times, frivolous.  Thing is, I’m a planner.  Everything in my life is, at some point or another, planned – whether on paper, or mentally. This planning has helped me immensely over the years in my career and life.

Not to blow my own trumpet, but having goals that you work towards for are wonderful. I’ve achieved the ones I wanted to achieve and there are still many more to do such as spending time travelling and visiting the world’s greatest libraries, art galleries, historical sites and museums.

However, I’ve noticed that I seem to achieve them when I find the process or the journey interesting or educational for me.  Once they become too hard for me, I’m likely to give up. Therein lays the rub.

I still have a long way to go.

For example, I wouldn’t think twice about having a goal to say, set up a new meetup group or create a new development program but the moment, I start to think of having to lose 5-10 kilos or anything related to physical fitness, I’ll think of every excuse under the sun.  To me, although these are utterly important for my health, I’ll do everything to get out of it.

This year, I decided not to plan anything – no goals, no visioning, no resolutions to see where it takes me.  Most of all, I think I’m seeking a “freedom of thought” of having others to tell me or determine what I should be doing. In fact, I want to do the OPPOSITE of what the crowds do.

I simply don’t want to follow anymore.

This morning, as I lay in bed on a very early quiet Sunday morning, I had this realisation.

I’m happy.

I’m happiest now, today, right this moment. I have everything I need and have asked for.  Sure, I can have a whinge, anxiety and stresses at times but on the whole, I really have nothing to complain about. Nothing.  I have my health and my family around me who love me, make me laugh but also frustrate me.  I have my friends who I share special moments.  I have a job and supportive fellow team members who value my knowledge, skills and capabilities and which gives me the freedom to experiment and learn continually at work.

This year I reach a milestone age. Who knows, maybe getting older means an acceptance that you are who you are.  The choices you have made in life shape you and you are perfect just the way you are right now.

For now, I’m ready to face what 2019 has for me and keep an open and curious mind.  Most of all, I want to enjoy life as much as I can and welcome new people into it.

I don’t want to spend it working – I want to spend it living, connecting, enjoying the moment with people who share the same thinking.

This blog post by Helen Blunden was written in Melbourne, Australia and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.