October 2023
While I’m not working now and waiting for the next 2.5 years for my husband to retire as well, I’m using this time to learn and play golf and continue with my French studies to occupy my time. I’m also reading a lot of classics and literature as well as improving my knitting and crochet skills (self-taught thanks to YouTube and Ravelry communities).
Over the weekend I trialled an Over 50s group catered for women over 50 called Connected Women. It’s event-based, social and packed with different entertaining events all over Melbourne. I attended their big event on Saturday where they put on a Spanish show with a flamenco guitarist and dancer. I enjoyed the show immensely and had an opportunity to meet the other ladies and hear their stories.
I think it’s a great concept to build community and connect women in their 50s and 60s many of whom may have had a change of lives. For example, I heard many stories about divorces after many years of marriage, returning to work, finding their identity again, navigating new relationships, and dealing with their adult children and grandchildren.
The biggest aspect of the conversation was all based on finding an identity after raising a family or working their entire lives.
At times I felt the odd one out who mentioned that I didn’t have either – children or grandchildren. Also, I’ve been relatively lucky to have explored various learning interests, travelled widely, and done what I planned to do throughout my life I was late to a lot of things.
I was late in finding a partner (truth be told, I never dated, nor did I ever want to get married, the life of a “free agent” appealed to me), I married late in life, (I never wanted children so didn’t see the point of marriage until Andrew came along and thankfully, he didn’t want children either), so it just goes to show that we all have different lives, motivations and aspirations in our life.
Going to this event made me reflect on what I like to do with my time and how I prefer to socialise with others.
Many women enjoyed participating in this club because it helped them experience the best that Melbourne has to offer. Nightlife, bars, restaurants, and cafes, shows and festivals. When the conversation turned to what to do in and around Melbourne, I realised I was clueless. I could only share those places that stood out for me – and those happened to be around places of history and learning.
For example, I mentioned that I wanted to see the home estate, Mulberry Hill of writer Joanne Lindsay, author of Picnic at Hanging Rock and wife to one of Australia’s artists, Daryl Lindsay who bought this place before the Great Depression and hosted many great guests of Melbourne history.
It also made me realise that I do enjoy going out and meeting people but for now, as many events are across town or in the evening, or in the day but are a little over my budget, I thought it might not be the right time for me just yet.
I’m scrutinising where every cent is going and if I was going to spend it on something, I’d prefer to be learning something and going through it as a cohort/team/class so I get to know the people deeper through it.
So one of my lessons here was the importance of my social life being integrated with people I connect with at a deeper level and over a period of time; preferentially around a joint skill-building activity as opposed to a group of strangers around an event for one night.
It made me realise why I enjoyed those times in my life when this happened. For example, my military training (which was mentally and physically tough but I loved the experience); working in team-based workplaces such as when I was with Adopt & Embrace; my Women Into Golf Program; and so much more. In effect, the realisation for me to be PART of a collaborative team as my social and learning outlet is key for me.
For now, I decided not to join this Over 50s group and instead use the money to enrol into a 10-week French Conversation called My French Journey which is conducted in a house nearby that runs social events as well as classes on all aspects of French language and culture. This is on top of my usual U3A, chats with my friend Renee every week and my classes with Nathalie every Thursday.
I would like to get out a bit more socially and discover places around Melbourne with others (particularly with Andrew) but I figure I could organise these myself and then invite my own friends to come along if need be. Or simply to go by myself (for day events. I never go out at night in Melbourne by myself as I never feel safe).
It’s good to be in this position of choice.
My next big decision is to think about a writing course.
I’ve researched some and found the one I like but might hold off to next year. The thing is that writing means I’m sitting down in front of a screen and at this moment, it’s the LAST thing I want to do. 🤣
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