I saw a tweet about “languishing” recently and instantly, I resonated with it.
The tweet referred to an article in the New York Times about how many people feel that they are languishing in these current times and I resonated with it. This year has been particularly difficult. The return to work after the short Christmas break, something seemed to have “switched” in my head. I don’t feel the same way about anything anymore.
Not getting into things, not getting anything out of them.
I have my days (especially in the last couple of years during lockdowns), where I spent long days inside. Some days I never even left my bed staying under the covers, but I know that it’s simply a way that I’m dealing with stuff.
I know that there are days when things go up and days when things feel down and I feel as if the universe is telling me to “ride this out”.
I’m also at a phase in my life – menopause – where my hormones are all out of whack, so it’s a double whammy for me. I have this black cloud hanging over me, other days, rays of sunshine.
I’ve gone to see a doctor about it but as I sit there explaining my symptoms, my headspace is also thinking, “what the hell Helen, you know what the issue is! Get your arse into gear and stop feeling sorry for yourself!” I know medication can help me but it’s something I’m just not willing to take on. I’d much rather work through it with time.
Overall, I have noticed though what is missing are feelings of:
I am just going through the motions.
I can’t explain this feeling. It’s not cynicism. It’s not fear. It’s just “meh”.
I don’t seem to ‘feel’ anything anymore as it pertains to work. Even things that have been in my diary such as outings. It feels as if I’m going through the motions when it comes to anything work related or social life.
Oh, except watching the cockatoos gather every morning at the park; and every evening around 9pm fly loudly to their overnight resting place in the trees. Watching the tawny frogmouths in our back yard tree; and except anything to do with our cat, Pud. Animals and bird life still have a fascination for me – even more so at this time. Humans are just tiring me out.
I need to “push” myself to get out of the house when it’s so much easier to stay inside and yet, at the same time, I just know that I need to be “out there”.
Adam Grant tells us how to get out of this funk but true to form, I just couldn’t be bothered watching this video. Yes, it’s like that.
It’s a catch-22 situation.
Having said that though, I know myself. I know when I go down into this languishing path and have coping mechanisms that I “FORCE” myself to do.
- Qigong practice (breathing and moving meditation helps)
- Morning walks (and my running which I started in recent times was a way to overcome this languishing feeling)
- New knitting projects (especially ones where I need to PLAN the project from start to finish)
- Potting plants (I have a verandah where I have potted some flowers which I go out every day to tend to, pick out dead buds, water, weed – small acts like this outside create some kind of daily routine)
- Evening stretches and exercises
- Learning French (this has been a HUGE help for me because it FORCES me to be continually focussed on something else other than my self and my thoughts)
- Taking daily vitamins
- Saying no to people requesting things from me – eg. I have declined all invitations to speak at any conferences; do podcasts; partner with people in their business; write articles for them
- Writing – this is going to be my new 2022 plan where I just write in this blog – not caring about whether it’s for learning or not.
Part of me thinks that another way to get out of this languish, is to think of others. To join a community service and be of service to other people. To help out in an altruistic way. (No, I don’t mean pushing your book or business 🤣). To be part of something that gives back to the community. Volunteer. To give my time to those in real need.
So before you say, oh you need to see someone to overcome this feeling, I’d say, just let me be for now. I’ll get over this with time – as many will.
If I don’t get excited about your new ideas, your new work projects, your new work initiatives, your new purchase, your new business, your new book – please be patient.
I’ll be back to my old self – but different.
For now, the spontaneity and fun of ‘old Helen’ is gone. She’ll be back I’m sure.